Tabula Rasa

Rebecca climbed up on the coffee table and tapped on the bulb. At her touch, it shattered, startling her. Unbalanced, she fell, hit her head on the side of the table and died. A woman offered her a coat. "Welcome! You'll want to put this on." A woman beamed at her, proferring a fur-lined coat. Rebecca stared blankly at the woman. "I'm sorry? Who are..." She trailed off. Looking around and realised she wasn't in her house. She had to squint against the white light which seemed to suffuse everything. Like sun through fog on a ski-slope. She touched the back of her head where she could still feel the sensation of it connecting to the edge of the table. "Sorry, who are you? Where am I?" "Please, do not worry." The woman smiled, almost, but not quite, to her eyes. "I'm not worried." Rebecca paused. "Well, no, I am quite worried, but, wait, sorry, who are you?" "I am here to help you, here, put this on." The smiling, but not quite to her eyes, woman helped Rebecca into the fur lined coat. Once she put it on she realised how cold it was. She could see her breath. Her eyes began to adjust. She was standing on a path that had been carved through the snow. Everything either side of the path disappeared into a thick fog that reflected the diffuse light. "Please, madam, you must carry on down the path." The woman put a light but insistent hand on Rebecca's back. Her eyes had stopped the pretense of smiling, though her mouth still played lip service to it in a very literal way. Rebecca, pliant in her confusion, began walking. The path curved gently to the right but that was all she could see. All else was clouded by the mist. She walked forward in a daze. "Welcome!" She snapped out of her daze and realised that she was standing a meter away from another woman, who looked identical to the first. "You have been allocated to the remote controlled toy department. Please follow me." The woman set off abruptly down one of the branching paths ahead. Rebecca hurried after, not wanting to lose her. "Wait, toy department?" The cold and the toys suddenly collided in Rebeccas head. "Am I in..." The woman cut her off. "Yes, it can be disorientating. You are dead and you are now in Lapland. This is what you would perhaps call 'Heaven', though that has been a cause of confusion over the years. You are probably wondering about 'God' and 'Santa' - same person. We couldn't have been more clear - an omniscient being who judges your moral character?" The woman was looking at Rebecca with clear annoyance, as though she was a slow child. "Anyway, you are through here." She handed Rebecca a lanyard and placed a light but insistent hand on her back, pushing her towards a building that loomed out the fog.